A Personal Account of My Final Defense

Sun, 27 Feb 2011 02:16:18 +0100

Perhaps the most anticipated (and the most dreaded) moment in the life of a BS Biology senior is the final presentation of the research study conducted for the Special Problem, or what is popularly known as the Final Defense. Accomplishing this requirement, which would only take an hour of their life and has taken perhaps 6 months to prepare, would give them the golden ticket to a more possible occurrence of their graduation. And going through the final defense would mean that the proverbial tinik sa lalamunan which they suffered for quite a long time since Special Problem have introduced into their lives will finally be removed.

Fortunately for me and my thesis partner Ianchross Vacaro, that day have finally came and ended. It happened two days ago, February 25, at the CSB3 lecture room, past 2:00 pm. It would be recalled that the said day was meant for the celebration of the 25th anniversary of the EDSA Revolution, a milestone in our history. And just as the event marks a struggle by the people, what occurred in us that day was a seemingly equal struggle fuelled by pressure and exhaustion. Quoting what Ian has wittingly said in his introduction, “25 years ago, the Filipinos defended our democracy. 25 years after, I will defend my thesis”(Vacaro,2011). I must agree, those words would perfectly describe the battle field that we are about to face that day.

Among the attendees were the Biology Department head, Prof. Phil V. Morano, who also happened to be the chairman of the panel of evaluators, Prof. Ida Revale and Dr. Carina Perete, the equally gorgeous lady members of the panel, and our ever-supportive adviser, Prof. Rodolfo Verdida. I must acknowledge the efforts of Sir Phil in setting up the Lecture room who came there before us.

Among us two presenters, I took off first . I would be a hypocrite if I say that I am not nervous and tense during my presentation. Sino ba namang hindi..?? Considering that I am speaking in front of four professors armed with their critical views later on. I must make it good. However, perhaps due to the previous kulang-sa-tulog nights and kulang-sa-tsibog days (Man, mangangayayat pa’ko lalo!), my tension and anxiety was replaced by a low state of energy, that is, I became relaxed during my presentation (believe it or not, relaxed ako!) But with a series of bulol and tip-of-the-tongue moments.

When I was doing my powerpoint presentation the night before, I was then rehearsing also the things I am going to say as well as the ad libs. But during my presentation, I seem to forget them all and instead I end up spending 90% of my presentation either reading the powerpoint slides or going over my hard copy. So when I browsed by photos afterwards, I found myself looking like a church commentator in most of the pictures.

But the presentation was just the tip of an iceberg because what comes next is more terrifying and grueling, as every Biology seniors know – the evaluation by the panel. As it turned out, all the details of my paper that I have expected to be of flaws were easily detected by the hawk-like eyes of the panelists, as well as the details I have overlooked and have failed to notice such as “manual handpicking”. Silly me.

In times like this, being honest would really help a lot. Covering up your mistakes with another mistake would get you in more trouble rather than simply telling the truth and be humiliated.

Well, it seemed that the evaluation was not that terrifying after all. It has served its purpose of detecting the flaws and inadequacies of the paper and giving suggestions on how to improve them. So the expected hour-long defense was expanded an hour more, making it last for two hours. And when it was Ian’s turn the sun is already setting.

In the end, it was big sigh of relief for me. It was somehow a long ordeal starting from the formulation of the thesis problem a year ago, but in the long run, I must say that it felt good when you know that everything that you have worked for has finally paid off. It may not be as perfect as it should be but what’s the use of the word “improvement” if it stands for nothing. Just like in real-life situations, we always end up in a lot of pressing situations and at times commits a lot of mistakes, but there is always –ALWAYS - a chance to correct them and fill their inadequacies. Through the duration of this thesis, I learned a lot, especially during those times that we are in the data gathering. This is just a testimony that anything can be achievable once you put your heart into it.

To my mentors, to the panelists and to my adviser, and even to Ian who has also been my teacher, more than the academic learnings that I have acquired from all of you, are the lessons that are more profound and more insightful. This thesis has helped me see that, yeah, we do experience a lot of problems, but the thing is, it happened for us to gain something from it. Sometimes it makes us strong. Sometimes it helps us learn. Sometimes it pushes us to the limits. Sometimes it helps up see some hope. And sometimes it makes us stop when reality dictates that it’s not possible.

To all the people who have done their part in helping me accomplish my thesis until the day of defense, my sincerest gratitude to all of you, because I know, I won’t ever make it by myself. To my parents and my family, who have been my constant inspiration, I dedicate my efforts to you. And finally, to God, my greatest teacher, I am glad for making me experience all these things, be it pleasant or not, and making me see the lesson behind every experience I have. And I know that these lessons would go on and on until I learned from them, just as a revision of a thesis goes on until the desired outcome was obtained. And I expect more of these trials and challenges from Him for this will be a very adventurous course in this life-long curriculum for me.

insights

A Personal Account of My Final Defense